Screwed.edu
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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