He uses pillows to masturbate.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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