She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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