I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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