Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
