at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
