Three words: puerto rican gang bang
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
