I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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