She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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