i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Less talking, more tequila
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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