OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
