How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
