Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize