chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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