you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
