ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you didnt know i had herpes?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
