Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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