fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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