Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
