He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
