i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
