Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Your dad touched me again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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