Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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