You're earring is so big in my mouth
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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