just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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