i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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