We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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