I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
