i think i have herpe
just one?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
