The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
