I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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