Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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