How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
