I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
