My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't turn off my feet"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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