I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
meet me or not, i'm out of control
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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