I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
