I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
