So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
