JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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