You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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