you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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