Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just had sex bonerless
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
