Banned from zoo.
Again?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
