I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions