If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dating After Heartbreak
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?