i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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