i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
