The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
