i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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