I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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