take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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