So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
