well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
