i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
