we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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